Journal.

Nigerian Dream What is the Nigerian dream? Is there even a Nigerian dream? It’s like every day, week, month and year that passes kills a little more of a young mind’s sense of possibility. The foundation of a country is vibrant young minds, exploring possibilities, dreaming beyond the current capacity of the nation But it’s like this country leaves no room for dreams, so young minds slave themselves away, unknowingly or perhaps knowingly, to a system that doesn’t value them. As a matter of fact, come to think of it. the environment an average Nigerian finds themselves in is so hard that slaving for another system starts to look like the better option. Ah, what a shame. what have we done to bring this great nation to its knees? Who made this nation this way? Ahhhh, Are we damned, or is there room for redemption and rebuilding? Are we damned, or we can still raise this nation to its greatness

The purpose of art is the exploration of the almost impossible or perhaps the impossibility of the human mind itself. Cause what the human mind is capable of is beyond the imaginable. Some of the things I witness today just reinforced my belief of the unimaginable capacity of a human. I am left in awe

When does learning stop, does it ever stop?

Finding peace in who we are is paramount, Finding peace that friendships, relationships, work, even one’s life will end even when the other soul really wants things to work out I find myself in such, searching for peace It is hard accepting some things, Even when you’ve really worked, done your best That there could have been a better turnout or results. It’s so sad that people these days, are not willing to work things out Always keeping score of people’s bad things, even when they’ve done good We are all different and the same, Our differences and sameness draw us to each other, We then have to strive and work to make things work out Been a child allowed me easily interact with others Regardless of our differences, background, parental and societal status, Nowadays, we’ve lost that  Many are trying to find themselves, Forgetting that you have to be around people to find yourself. Some might say I have my own people, My clique, my guys. But are we as humans meant to be segregated?, Or are we meant to find our way back to each other, The way oceans, seas, and rivers always find their way to the same sea

Been at a place where one’s future isn’t certain, Makes one wonder what life would have been like if not given some opportunities or granted some privileges Hmmmmmm, From a boy who really didn’t have anything to his name, To someone who can afford some things This moment I sit in the stillness and wonder, How would I have turned out, who would I have been, Sometimes I fail to realise how far I have come, I continuously find myself in the situation of wanting more than I have now. I barely sit and think of the progress I have made so far, I just keep going, keep going, Maybe that’s my way of not being thrown into depression Even at this moment as I write this, my heart feels heavy. There is this subtle chill in my heart that I can’t afford to fail. I can’t.

How do you look beyond the impossible? Is it even possible? It seems so. Great minds from time past, actually did things seen as extraordinary Judging from the resources and materials available to them, Creating and inventing things that seem to make our lives easier, that in itself, is actually a great feat. As a matter of fact, I deem it one. Whereas today, when I look at my left or right What I see are not great minds at all, I am seeing a whole of generation of people reduced to numbers, not impacting or giving back to the society in any way. And we ask why is our society is decaying, Why our society is rotten, You know what, society’s decay and rottenness start from the minds of people who refuse to grow their mind intellectually, Individuals who stopped growing We should stop wondering and take control of our lives, We should give or create as much as we consume Perhaps, give or create more than we consume

I want someone I can call in the odd hour of the night And still pick my call regardless, Someone that is willing to engage in a convo with me Without necessarily having an emergency Where do I find such a person, What is ’tis that my heart craves for, What is ’tis, What is ’tis, Is it impossible to find, is it, Dear heart, it seems what you ask for Is way beyond the ordinary or perhaps not I will go to the north, I will go to the south To find one who sees beneath my roughness, One who doesn’t find my emotions as a weapon against me I will go to the east, I will go to the west To find one whom my impulsiveness is not a burden, One who finds my stubbornness lovely I long, and I long for such an embrace, A warm one, one that cherishes at all odds, Maybe not at all odds, always finding its way back Perhaps, it finds me

I am lost, I am lost in my thoughts My heart wanders far and wide, Far and wide, it says In search of meanings, Will I find it, will I find it Do I find meaning or it finds me, Have you ever found meaning Will I ever find it? Ahh, what a life What is life without meaning What is life without one to love I yearn and yearn for meaning I yearn for love, do I get any of them Do I go in search of meaning and forsake love, Do I go in search of love and forsake meaning, Perhaps when I find one I find the other I weep, I weep so loud, Yet no tears on my face. My heart cries so loud Yet can not be heard, It searches for meaning, it searches for love My heart wants to be in the warm embrace of love and it searches for meaning It seems my heart conflicts between love and meaning And I wonder, what do I do?

What is success without exception, without argument, To strip it of every coin, every price? Where do we find success? How do we even locate it? What does it take to attribute success to things with no monetary value, but actual impact?

No individual is important and bigger than an institution

Maybe what I love is not my calling. Perhaps the work, the role, the career I chose based on passion, on conviction is not my path. I could be an artist by nature, called to exploits and wonders. I have lost that side of me. I am lost. Truly, I am Who do I blame society, or myself, parents or siblings, my country, or my friends, or is there no one to blame at all? As I write my mind wanders, I wonder what I could have become. A beautiful artist, perhaps. Maybe not. How then do I find myself

What does it take to grow beyond imagination? To forge a path to greatness through a world full of noise? To step off the well-worn lane of success and walk one no one else had drawn? What does it take to move from grass to grace? I ask, what does it take?